Understanding Challenging Behaviours.
On October 8, 2024, CCRR began releasing a 10-part series of recorded conversations with Katie Crosby, Occupational Therapist and founder of Thriving Littles, on Facebook and Instagram. Katie has been working with CCRR for the past 2 years helping child care providers, educators and parents learn to manage children’s emotions, and their own, during meltdowns and other challenging behaviours. Katie’s work has already made significant impact at many child care centers and within families throughout the Cariboo-Chilcotin-Central Coast —and now, we’re excited to share her expertise with a wider audience
Managing challenging behaviours can be overwhelming for parents and educators alike. Whether it’s a tantrum, a meltdown, or signs of frustration, these moments often leave both the child and adult feeling out of control.
Episode One touches on Power WITH vs Power OVER. Katie asked us to reflect on our childhoods and how we felt when an adult was standing up, towering over us, using a loud voice or maybe grabbing our arm to rush us off to our rooms. Did we feel safe, secure and were able to calm down or did this keep us stressed, scared, angry, unsure? Being “big” is what Katie refers to as Powering Over and sends fear/anger/uncertainty signals to the child’s brain which keeps them in fight/flight or freeze state which keeps them in meltdown or shut down. In these brain states, the child is unable to process or comprehend what we are trying to say, it’s not that they are defying or not listening to us.
Power WITH approach is when an adult moves towards the child and gets low (kneels or bends down) and possibly makes an inquiry, “What’s going on? Are you okay? Oh dear, what is happening?”. Maybe put hand on the child’s shoulder or if they do not like touch, use facial gestures or tilt head with eyebrows raised, extend arms for a hug, etc. The child’s body senses your calmness which sends signals to the child’s brain, “No 911’s or danger going on here because my big person isn’t freaking out about anything so guess we can chill out”, and the child’s brain state returns to a calmer, regulated state because the child feels safe, secure, listened to, cared about, etc.
Episode Two touches on those human moments when we raise our voice or react stronger than we wanted, and how we reconnect with our child and repair any damage. Using story telling is an effective way to talk about what happened, express how each person/character was feeling, what one of the parties did and how that made the other party feel. Making these kinds of moments “bear”able using story telling.